Writing: Giving Feedback or "Critiques" (Part 1)

Writing: Giving Feedback or "Critiques" (Part 1)

We, as writers (whether amateur, "hobby", or professional), are forever seeking to better ourselves and to improve our craft. Often, we will seek feedback from others regarding our work, often in the form of critiques.

We may even give out critiques ourselves, to friends and to fellow writers. As with all skills, "critiquing" has a learning curve and today I would like to talk about what I've learned about being a "critic" or a giver of feedback in the past year or so: what I do, what I found I should not do, and what good techniques I've come across.

I've made my fair share of mistakes in the past and I'm sure I will make many more in the future, but I hope this will be an interesting read and may help others in bettering themselves, whether as a writer or a critic, or both. And I hope you won't make as many mistakes as I did!

What are my credentials?

On Wattpad, I am what they call a "critic", that is: I offer my thoughts and knowledge on writing to others who request my "service". Both as a writer and as a critic I have a long way to go, but I do try my best to help others improve and also offer my thoughts on their writings as a reader.

What are my qualifications? How many books have I published? What mind-blowing literature pieces have I created to take the world by storm?

None. Well, I got two A*s in English Language and English Literature at GCSE level (16 years old), but I never pursued the languages beyond that point, favouring the sciences and maths instead and am studying those at university level. However, I am a very, very avid reader. I've been devouring books since I was young and that hasn't changed as an adult, although a few research papers have been thrown into the mix, too. Although my sub-par school curriculum offered little to no grammar lessons, I learned a lot about writing through reading. In the past year on Wattpad, I've also learned from fellow critics about the art of writing as well as the art of critiquing and have "published" a few novels and short stories on that site.

Is this post the absolute law in how one conducts oneself as a critic and how prose must be written? Of course not! I'm just expressing my views based on my own personal experience -- and I have made numerous blunders in the process -- and how I feel one can be a thorough and, above all, helpful critic. My methods may not work for everyone and I still have lots to learn, but I hope it can help others give feedback when they critique or when they comment on a story.

What is feedback? (From Oxford Dictionaries online)

Critique: a detailed analysis and assessment of something, especially a literary, philosophical, or political theory. 

Feedback: Information about reactions to a product, a person’s performance of a task, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement.

Basically, we analyse and assess how good or bad something is -- with the aim to help them improve.

So the backbone of giving feedback is: do not aim to crush the soul of the recipient.

Of course, there are some who are sensitive and insecure about their writing skills. We've all been there. There are those who don't actually want the flaws in their work highlighted and don't actually want you hammering at them about ways they can improve their wares. There are those whose skills are actually much lower than yours -- think of a maths professor teaching at university level teaching their kid how to do addition (only in terms of the difference in skill, as I'm not claiming to be a professional in the slightest), he/she wouldn't be teaching them them mathematical modelling or all kinds of complicated algebra. So you've got to alter your expectations and advice according to the recipient...

...if they wanted a critique in the first place.

Back to the start of the past paragraph. Remember not everyone wants a critique. You may go in, full of good intentions and hoping to aid this young budding writer to become a fully-fledged writer, but they may be happy plodding along at their level. Then your (perhaps too) hardcore critique came along and made them upset about writing, instead of helped them improve. They didn't want their stories to be picked apart. They didn't ask for it. So don't, no matter how good your intentions are. If they wish for a critique, offer it or wait for them to ask. Feel free to give small prompts about improvement -- things like "I think XXX should probably talk about his past a bit more because it makes him seem more realistic" and "I think that last action scene went a bit too quickly. I think if it was paced a bit steadier I can really feel myself in that battle" is quick and helpful.

With the above in mind -- Help the recipient improve. Critique only if your service is required. -- let's talk about how feedback should (theoretically) be given and we can have a look in further detail about the above two points.

Ende's Principles of Giving Feedback

Years and years ago, in the long-gone days of 1983, a man named Ende published a scientific article on giving feedback [Ende J (1983) Feedback in clinical medical education. Journal of the American Medical Association 250:777-781].

Basically, it boils down to the following:

Feedback should be:
1) Well-timed and expected.
2) Teacher and trainee working as allies with common goals.
3) Based on first-hand data.
4) Regulated in quantity and limited to remediable behaviours.
5) Phrased in descriptive non-evaluative language.
6) About specific performances, not generalisations.
7) Clearly labelled 'subjective' as appropriate.
8) On decisions/actions versus assumed intentions/interpretations.

So what does this all mean?

1) Feedback should be well-timed and expected.

As mentioned earlier, critiques should be something the recipient is expecting, so either the recipient must have approached you asking for one or you offered one to them and they accepted. (Equally if they stated on their profile they love getting feedback, that can also be taken as consent.)

It should be well-timed. Although not much of a problem on Wattpad, because the book isn't going anywhere, the fresher the feedback relative to the time of performance (i.e. of writing the book), the more the recipient will understand your feedback compared to what they were thinking at the time of writing. Additionally, it's a matter of courtesy that you don't promise someone feedback soon and deliver it a few months later. At least drop them a PM either letting them know it'll take a while or apologising profusely for being late.

2) Feedback should be teacher and trainee working as allies with common goals.

Note that although the critic isn't a teacher, they are giving advice to the recipient, so this sentence can be adapted to our use. Also note the use of the word allies. The critic shouldn't be antagonising in any part of the critique. The critic is working with the recipient so that the recipient can improve their writing.

You may disagree with the writer and vice versa, but try to maintain a degree of professionalism even if you can't reach an agreement. Remember you're using your time to help another person improve their skills. Making them resentful or your enemy means they won't take any of your feedback on-board. Bruised egos and heated arguments aside, antagonism results in you wasting your time critiquing.

3) Feedback should be based on first-hand data.

This means literally what it says. You should feedback based on what you've read, rather than, for example, what other people have said in the comment section or mentioned in their reviews of that piece. You should gather your own data and make a judgement based on that.

Consider quoting the recipient so the feedback is more specific, for example:

"I noticed you're showing on top of telling on some occasions, and frankly I think you can easily just show and leave out the telling. One area where this is obvious is in paragraph 2, sentence 5, and another area is paragraph 6, sentence 1."

"Where your character said, 'quote quote quote' I feel you can better show her annoyance if you used this word instead of that. As it stands, I think it conveys more sadness than irritation."

4) Feedback should be regulated in quantity and limited to remediable behaviours.

Now the former is something I especially struggle with. Feedback shouldn't be overwhelming in numbers (of points) and should be restricted to things upon which the recipient can improve.

We all know nobody can change everything at once. As a critic, try and prioritise the points the recipient need to improve. What's more important, the fact that their tenses jump back and forth, or they don't know how to punctuate dialogue, or the fact that their main character is difficult to relate to because of personality issues? Or is the fact that the basics of the English language haven't been fully grasped yet the most important area to focus on -- because you, as the reader, is having great difficulty understanding what they're actually trying to convey?

Nobody likes having all of their bad points listed, so consider expanding on the biggest problems and either PM'ing them the smaller points or just having a sentence or two about the lesser areas, for example:

"Just a few minor errors regarding dialogue punctuation. Remember to end a spoken line with a comma if followed by a speaking verb; otherwise, you should end in a full-stop."

"I notice you're occasionally spelling the word 'weird' wrong. Remember the 'e' goes before the 'i', but that's a small issue."

In terms of remediable behaviours, this refers to raising points that the user can actively improve on. It isn't a major issue in writing, in my opinion, but consider when you're public-speaking, you're told your accent is too heavy to be understandable -- it's asking a bit too much if you request a change of accent, but maybe you can suggest they enunciate clearer and speak slower. 

Part 2 can be found here.

What do you think of Ende's principles so far? Do you implement any of those? Do you disagree with any of them?

Review: "Loving In Time" by A.E. Kirk

Review: "Loving In Time" by A.E. Kirk

As found on Goodreads. Book published by Wattpad author Abi Kirk/AE_KIrk.

Rating: 3* out of 5.

I received an e-copy in exchange for a review for this book.

“Loving In Time” is a loose re-telling of the story of Helen of Sparta in the modern world. A seemingly normal school girl gets visits from mysterious boys who seem to know more about her than they let on, and what unfolds is a story of self-discovery. This is a review after reading approximately a third of the book.

Helen is an entertaining main character whose thoughts are fairly typical for a young teen whose world is limited to normal social activities and school. Her relationship with her unpredictable, rambunctious best friend, Paris, is very sweet and relatable, as are the troubles and arguments that come along with being a teen. I feel the author has captured the essence of teenager-hood well with their hyperactive energetic personalities and liveliness.

The story flows well most of the time, although a bit slow for my taste and aside from the odd sticky sentences and over-telling of prose. There are no apparent information overload – a lot of backstory is given through dialogue between characters, which in my opinion is an excellent way to build the world for the reader – or noticeable inconsistencies aside from one so far. There was an incident where Helen walks out of her history class when wrongly reprimanded by the teacher. Since the beginning of the story, she has been shown as a timid girl – tries to be invisible, shy around others, unable to stand up to Paris, trembles during public speeches, mortified when put in the limelight – so I found it very strange she would have the courage to walk out of the class, particularly as there was no mention of her being angry at being wronged, only embarrassed, and no indication of any impulsivity in her personality. On top, I’m not actually quite sure Helen is ‘interesting’ enough of a main character, as she shows very little interest in the mysterious boys and their mysterious hints at what they know for about six to seven chapters. Her reaction seem to not deviate from a disinterested “Ah, well” despite all the oddities in the boys until the submarine library scene and a little later on when she was actually attacked in her own home. Additionally, as mentioned earlier, I feel the flow could be quicker, because despite being a third of the way through the book, I still haven’t come across the main conflict of the book or the price of her actions/failures and I haven’t really found myself sympathetic for Helen’s cause – whatever that may be.

I feel the writer has a talent for capturing emotions. From Paris’s “in your face” and carefree persona to when Helen regains her memories, the emotive side of the prose were quite realistic and intense. After Helen realises who she was, her thoughts and speech matured noticeably as she recalled her life from centuries ago: a sharp contrast to her childish voice from before. This subtle change leads me to believe she also regained the wisdom of her multiple lifetimes before the current one and I think it’s well-delivered.

Aside from lively Paris, however, I feel there is a certain individuality and significance that is lacking in most of the other supporting characters. Seven boys show up by the point I’m at in the book, and, to me, they have no differentiating features. Even when Marcus and Gus first show up, aside from being the “mysterious boys”, their manner of speech and personalities don’t set them apart from each other and their roles are still unclear. The latter is the same for Paris, whose role was hinted to be significant in the beginning in that Helen comments on how compatible and close they were, as well as the significance of their names, and yet after Paris disappears within two or three chapters, she has yet to reappear or even be mentioned. This seems to suggest the story isn’t quite starting at the inciting incident, when the conflict begins, as the story starts with the friendship of Paris and Helen on a typical school day, instead of when Marcus and Gus shows up and strange things begin to happen to Helen.

In terms of the actual language side of the writing, there are consistent dialogue and prose punctuation mistakes that run throughout the book and overuse of dialogue tags (particularly “mumbled” and “cringed” – the latter is not spoken verb) and adverbs, all of which I feel detracted from the professionalism of a published book and the latter contributes to the over-telling. The shouting scenes also overuse capital letters to the point where it makes difficult reading. For a lot of readers, I’m sure this aren’t big problems and Helen’s charming storytelling voice probably can compensate, but for me personally it jars the reading experience. And although perhaps a nit-picking point, I found it strange when Helen justifies her love of biology with liking how chemical reactions worked – I would have thought it would either be her loving biology because she liked seeing the anatomy of the boy’s injury and subsequent infection back in science class, or she loves chemistry because she likes seeing how the acid reacts to skin. Similarly, another strange situation was when she was thinking of what chemicals could induce such pain and arrived at the conclusion of PTSD, which is not a chemical but a medical condition, and nowadays more often not actually related to wars – although considering the intense pain she was in at that moment in time, it was even stranger she would have the mental capacity to even come up with these thoughts in the first place.

The story, told through first person, definitely has its charms and that is important to hook in readers. Having said that, the lack of significant events as far as a third of the way through the book and the consistent language errors that run through it – the latter of which shouldn’t be present in a published book – do detract from the enjoyment of the book for me. Certain characters, such as Helen and Paris, are interesting with their own charm (although Helen’s personality is a little inconsistent in my opinion) but in contrast the supporting characters are comparably superficial and lacking.

****

"Loving In Time" is on sale for 99p for all UK Kindle customers for one day only (13/7/2014) here.

Writing Process Blog Hop

Writing Process Blog Hop

I’ve been tagged by a good friend Jespah to participate in a Blog Hop. I shall answer some questions and then tag three fellow bloggers to continue the chain. I hereby nominate fellow Wattpadders and bloggers: Bruce Elgin, Tiara Harvey/Chemical_Insanity, and Jessica B Fry.

Check out all of my free stories on Wattpad:

1) What am I working on?

My current project is called “Rise of the Vengeful Dragon”(RotVD), an epic fantasy adventure (/histfic) about a young girl, Aerith, who has lost her only family at five years of age. In a world where dragons had been living peacefully with humans for millennia thanks to a magical treaty that tied the lives of dragons to human Draconian Families, a clash between two dragons resulted in destruction and one death. As she hid among the ruins of her town, Aerith watched her mother and her family’s dragon get killed, and swore revenge.

This project started as a combination of my desire to (finally) write a dragon story and as a prompt for a user competition I saw on Wattpad back in January 2014 called “Essence of Gisella”, which is to write a story based on a cover made by the competition host.

I actually won that competition and got some pretty banners and covers, reviews, and comments as prize. Since then, RotVD has been entered into The Write Awards, another Wattpad competition, and gave me many sleepless nights because I made the poor choice of regularly posting a story on Wattpad without fully plotting it out. Most of the kinks are sorted now, and the near is in sight. However, because the first third of the story was pretty shrouded in terms of world mechanics, I’m itching to rewrite it!

2) How is my work different from others of its genre?

RotVD utilises an unreliable narrator first and foremost. I focused a lot on what Aerith sees and how she sees things. As a bitter and ruthless girl who grew up in harsh circumstances, there are people whose names she wouldn’t bother learning and important aspects of life (such as camaraderie and trust) she would cast aside and focus entirely on her goal of revenge.

Many dragon stories tend to have dragons who serve humans or can be controlled or bargained with, somehow. In my view and the RotVD world, dragons are majestic, extremely powerful, and very old. So old that puny humans’ existences wouldn’t even cross their minds, let alone obeying them. I try to go back to traditional views of dragons: huge powerhouses who can literally flatten mountains.

3) Why do I write what I do?

I write because I love creating: sketching, painting, crafting. When I read or watch films/anime, I see snippets of storylines unfolding in front of me and characters whose stories I would love to tell. And when I write, I live through my characters. When they cast magic, I feel the power coursing through my veins. When they cry, I feel my eyes prickling. When they fight for their lives, I feel their adrenaline. I love living through the fantasy magic and mystical creatures in my characters’ world. It’s a lovely escape and, as I am a visual writer (meaning I see more or less everything I write about), it’s my dream to share those visions with my readers.

On my "off-fantasy-duty" days, I do write more down-to-earth stuff. I have two short story collections on Wattpad. One is horror, called "My Nightmares", which are gruesome, gory, freaky stories that I dug out from the deep crevices of my twisted mind. The other is a more serious general fiction, called "Tear Drops and Ink", which requires me to put on my mature hat and talk about difficult topics; so far, I've written two shorts, one about the importance of a bone marrow donor for a little girl with childhood leukaemia, and another about the devastation of bullying and the "Not in my backyard" attitude of bystanders.

4) How does my writing process work?

I can’t say I have many stories under my belt, and some of my earlier stories I don’t consider as part of my collection, simply because they are too rough and terrible. For my existing books, because I get inspiration from many places as previously mentioned, they mostly come from the stuff I watch and from dreams – I’m a very vivid dreamer. “Seeker”, what I consider my first completed novel, was inspired by a dream where I was part of a superpower team à la “Power Rangers”. I had telekinesis and was levitating this huge rock over to my enemies, and so, Tora, the hot-tempered telekinetic, was born. “The Windcaster” was inspired by Studio Ghibli’s animation of “Tales of Earthsea”, as mentioned in a previous blog post. “Rise of the Vengeful Dragon” wasn't inspired by anything in particularly. Perhaps that’s why it is so difficult to write.

Once I get the basis of the story (e.g. “telekinetic girl fights demons and saves human lives”) I then work on a conflict (e.g. “telekinetic girl gets mysterious visits from boy alongside increasing demon attacks”). Working towards several climaxes, I then pave from climax to climax, adding mini-climaxes in-between, until the Big Battle with the Big Bad is in sight.

Like my puppy friend who tagged me, I also have an idea bank, called “Initial Ideas”. This is a folder full of all the snippets of storylines and a few bones of a story skeleton. More often than not, an idea gets filed away there forever and never sees the light of day. On the odd occasion, a few ideas get merged into my current book or merge together to form a future book. One current brewing idea is a combination of three ideas plus the X-men films.

I always plan my stories out ever since my first, and last, unplotted story went on for ever and ever. 800k words later, there was no end in sight. In retrospect, it was like a serialised piece of work, like an anime or TV series, so it’s actually OK it will never end. Nevertheless, the idea scared me so I filed it away and always meticulously plot from now on. “Seeker” went according to plan. “The Windcaster” did not. In fact, it went so far off the plotline that characters who were supposed to die did not, and vice versa, and Tia, the MC, ended up in a very different place towards the latter half of the book. But having a plan organised my brain, set me in gear, and motivated me whenever I hit writer’s block.

Passing the Baton

And here, I pass the blogging baton onto:

Author of free mystery paranormal Wattpad book "Schism" and fellow blogger : Bruce Elgin

Author of free epic fantasy adventure Wattpad book "The Last Nephilim" and fellow blogger: Tiara Harvey/Chemical_Insanity

Author of free epic fantasy adventure Wattpad book "Tue-Rah: Identity Revealed" and fellow blogger: Jessica B Fry.

Go and check out their blogs and work. They come recommended! And thank you for reading.

Pet Spotlight: Silk Worms

Pet Spotlight: Silk Worms

Disclaimer: As with the Wintermelon post, I do not claim to be an expert in insects, breeding, feeders, or pets. All opinions expressed and experiences shared are my own and from what I read on the internet.

I bought three silkworms from a pet store on about Thursday 29th May. Normally silkworms are used as feeders for reptiles and, although I'm the owner of a considerable menagerie, these little ones were not for that purpose. I wanted to see them spin their cocoons and become moths.

Plus, they're really cute.

Some people may find them a bit gross, as they do with a lot of creepy crawlies. But I find them adorable. They have little feet for feeling on the front part of their bodies and suction feet from about 1/4 of the way onward. They have little buttocks that can clamp onto leaf stalks, too! Which makes removing them from their box a little tricky. You need to be firm and yet be careful not to a) squish them and b) break their legs. When they crawl on your skin, it's a little itchy, a bit like someone dragging a floor brush along your arm.

So aside from (lightly) squeezing them (they're sooo squishy!) and petting them, I got a plastic see-through box for them and threw in a bunch of washed white mulberry leaves, and let them get on with it. Silkworms eat voraciously, hence my new nickname for my trio: "Om nom noms". Just keep throwing mulberry leaves at them, but make sure they're fresh, because silkworms don't drink. They get all their hydration from the water in the leaves, and face it, dry leaves aren't exactly the most delectable. Clean out the faeces -- these guys poop as fast as they eat -- every so often.

I had them for two to three days before they just stopped eating altogether. Then they started spinning silk. Initially they were pretty lethargic, nibbling on the mulberry leaf a little, before just lying there again. I began to worry, as I'd never had silkworms before and was thinking, "Oh God, I can't even keep three worms alive?!"

Turns out they were ready to become cocoons. Overnight, two of them spun an opaque cocoon. A third was still spinning it the next morning when I came downstairs. I could still see its little head weaving back and forth as the cocoon thickened, and by mid-afternoon it, too, was out of sight in its little ball.

The interwebs say they take about three weeks to become moths, but it may be because it's horrendously hot where I am right now (35C on a normal day), they came out of their cocoons on June 10th -- well, two of them did. One was still inside its cocoon. As they (apparently) come out at dawn, I figured the remaining one wouldn't arrive until the next day, and I was right. I cleared out most of the faeces from before they became cocoons and the dried leaf that stayed with them for the 11-day-long cocoon period.

As I was also told by the internet, they sprayed a red liquid when they came out of the cocoon. So I cleared that out too. The first two that emerged look like females -- pretty big and wide, white, looks like the females on the internet. I hoped the third would be a male, otherwise these three will die within a week without laying eggs and I'll have to get new silkwormies.

Although considering they took a third of the time to become moths, perhaps they'll take a third of the time to die...

So it turned out the third one was, indeed, a male. Admittedly I couldn't tell the difference. He was the same size as the other two and more or less the same colour, perhaps with darker antennae. But when I came down the next morning, he had his butt jammed into a female's butt, so I guess he's a male?

I think the male is the left one in the left picture. You can also see the cocoon from which one of them emerged.

And although I'm rather quizzical about the timing of the event and its duration, it seems like the other female is already laying eggs -- considering adult moths neither urinate nor defecate, what else could these yellow things be? Our male could be more promiscuous and quick than I took him for...

For a couple of days, they mated, laid eggs, rinse and repeat. The male kept getting his wings and body caught in the silk so it was tough getting him out; the silk was tough and his body rather fragile. I ripped his wings a couple of times but his body was relatively intact, although he was still rather silky.

They managed to mate about three times in total (so one female participated twice) and there was a shedload of eggs.

I read on the internet that eggs will turn grey/black if they have been fertilised. So I left them where they are. Sadly -- but as expected -- the three adults died on 15th and 17th of June.

On about 16th June, some of the eggs did indeed turn grey/black (L), contrast with those that were unfertilised (R). Because my silk moths laid their eggs in two different places, I took half of the eggs -- still attached to the paper towel they were laid on -- and put it in a plastic tub, much like those takeaway microwaveable containers. Then I stuck the plastic container in a plastic bag, tied it, and refrigerated it. These should theoretically stay "fresh" for up to five years. They're my back-up silkworms. I don't fancy hatching hundreds of silkworms just yet -- can you imagine how much mulberry leaves they'll go through in a day!?

A couple of days later, the ones that were not refrigerated hatched.

Notice the little wriggly black things -- those are the baby silkworms. The hatched remnants of the eggs are grey and on close inspection, they have a hole in each of the sides.

I let the silk worm babies migrate of their own accord. Using small mulberry leaves -- as new as I can get, because their digestive tracts are still delicate and may not be able to digest larger leaves -- I placed new leaves on top and let them climb on. Eventually, after about two days, I'd moved most of them to a new container, cleaned the pink one, and replaced them.

A few of the babies got caught in the silk and couldn't move out. Others just died without apparent reason. I think I hatched about 200 worms and lost 10-20 initially.

Empty silkworm eggs

Well, currently the babies are still chomping away at the leaves. The leaves dry out quickly, so I have to keep replenishing them. I think I've lost another 20 in the past few days -- they're just little black hairs at the bottom of the plastic tub that don't move, so I assume they've gone.

If I feed them daily, they'll reach full cocoon-able state within a month, so let's see where we go from there. I hope they survive this baby stage and start to shed. If all things go well, some will be kept behind for breeding but most of the rest will end up as feeders for my lizards and amphibians.

I'll update with a later post. Until then, the silkworm babies say bye!

Wattpad: The Windcaster

Wattpad: The Windcaster

Current cover

Magic. Starvation. Inequality.  

In the Kingdom of Dernexes, where Wind magic equates to status and power, there is unrest among the people. Slaves live in desolate conditions, with no rights and are treated worse than dogs. Neighbouring countries border on war as King Ea lives in lavish luxury at the expense of increasing poverty and death among the civilians.  

Tia, a sheltered, naive Caster apprentice travels with a Windcaster when he is summoned for council with the King. The journey through the various, apparently well-to-do areas of the country shows only how much people need help, help which the King is adamant to withhold. Desperate times call for desperate measures.  

Times are about to change...

http://www.wattpad.com/story/7803020-the-windcaster-fantasy-adventure-complete-the

This post contains no spoilers.

About the Book

The Windcaster is a coming-of-age epic fantasy-adventure story I wrote for Wattpad, started on 21 August 2013 and completed on 25 December 2013: a total of 112k words. It is a tale of a young magician-in-training growing up and learning the perfect world she sees through rose-coloured glasses is actually corrupt; socioeconomic inequality is destroying the poorest and the most destitute. Slavery is rife, and those unfortunate enough to be under its system have no human rights and are treated as less than dogs.

The main character is Tia, a vivacious and naive Windcaster apprentice, who has lived all her life in the pretty seaside city of Mooncliffe with the man who trains her, Master Anu the Windcaster of Mooncliffe. Her love for fun and utter lack of heed for danger means she gets into trouble often, creating worry for her nervous but compassionate colleague, Mommu, who also lives in the same little house on a hill.

An early sketch of Tia

In Tia's world, Windcasters -- magicians who can utilise Wind magic with their innate talents and magic staffs -- are revered above all else. Their powerful affinity to the Wind is of great contribution to Tia's influential and prospering country, Dernexes. However, Windcasters are also allied, not to their country, but to the Wind. As such, ethical dilemmas have risen in the past and will rise in the future regarding its use, particularly as Dernexes's king, Ea, remains living in lavish luxury and in denial of his country's suffering.

Initial Windcaster staff sketches

When Master Anu, the Windcaster who trains Tia and Mommu in Wind magic, receives a summon from the king in the Capital, Tia's dream comes true: she finally gets to leave the small, peaceful city of Mooncliffe and travel the country. She will, at last, get to see all the wondrous places the Master spoke of, taste all the delicious delicacies, and meet all sorts of lovely people.

Chibi Art of Tia

Chibi Art of Mommu

Or so she thought.

With neighbouring countries bordering on war, slaves living in desperate conditions, and dissatisfaction brewing amongst Dernexans, the facade of the stable world she grew up in is about to be shattered. Through a series of unfortunate events and new friendships forged, Tia grows up and makes a choice, made all the more difficult when all the options lead to dire consequences and she has to choose the lesser of many evils.

The Writing Process

I am very much an amateur writer, although I do enjoy storytelling. I've never taken any creative writing courses (my high school/secondary school qualifications were biology, physics, chemistry, maths, and classical civilisation) but here, I share my writing experience of "The Windcaster" in hopes it may be helpful.

Initially inspired by "Tales of Earthsea", the Studio Ghibli animation, I've always had that scene in my head where Sparrowhawk takes Arun to that beautiful seaside town. That was where Mooncliffe was born. In my head, a little brown-haired girl skipped her way down the stone steps, ponytail swinging, and was loving every step and breath of sea air. That was where Tia was born.

A still from "Tales of Earthsea". Image from www.manga-news.com

From there, that scene sat in my head for a good six years until one day, I decided to expand on that scene. The Windcaster played itself out in my head like a movie for the vast majority of the book, so what I had to do was to translate that into text. After Tia makes her way down, she meets someone who will later become important in her story. A bit of mischief, some trouble, and a bruised ego later, her journey begins.

For those who may be interested, Tia's namesake, Tiamat, is from the Final Fantasy XII monster, which is in itself named after a Babylonian sea monster. From there, you can see all of my other characters are named after Babylonian deities or significant characters: Enlil the god of wind, Mommu/Mummu the god of crafts and technical skills, Anu the god of heaven and the sky.

This post contains no spoilers, but I will talk about the plotting and writing. I thought of several highlights of the story where Tia's maturity furthers and the world around her moves on ahead. There are some turn-points when she sees a little more of the world she was so naive about. Between each of the highlights, I have a few smaller peaks for building character and the world, and as I write, I pave my way from peak to peak, and, in the long run, from highlight to highlight.

Concept art of Tia and her trainee uniform (L) and Windcaster trainee's cloak and staff (R)

The story is built to a crescendo, which is then built down again for a bit of breathing time and in anticipation of the final showdown. I also allowed self-discovery and independence for Tia here, because as the main character, she has to play a major role in saving the day.

I hit several writer's block along the way. Most of them were in the second half of the book, where not only I had difficulty visualising the world, I also didn't know where to take Tia next. I knew in the long-term where she was to go, but paving the way there proved to be difficult. With most of them, I just skipped that scene and carried on writing: the next scene, the next week's events, additional scenes that never actually materialised in the Wattpad book. The ending was actually very different to what I had in mind, but I do feel this ending is better. There is enough closure -- the big bad is defeated, the world is saved -- but also leaves enough for me to write a sequel should I wish to.

Fan art by deardiary96

Fan art by Rosaimee

The Sequel

Although I say in the end author's note I am not planning a sequel, it is an idea sitting in the back of my head. I think I left Tia in a rather perfect world, to the point where I want to ruin it and see how she fares -- oh, how sadistic I sound! But it is what makes a good read: characters in difficult situations making something good out of it. And Tia, with her heart of gold, deserves her struggle for happiness.

So what I'm trying to say is: I can very well envision a sequel to "The Windcaster" once the rewrite is done. When that will be I cannot promise, but I do have several ideas brewing in my head, as well as a new story that runs along the theme of "The Windcaster" although it doesn't happen in Tia's world.

The New Cover

And without further ado, I shall unveil my new cover for "The Windcaster", courtesy of my good friend and extremely talented Photoshop artist Wendythestoryteller. This cover will be implemented in the upcoming week or two.

What are your thoughts about it? I love it; it's gorgeous, and I can't wait to show it off to the Wattpad world.

Until next time, when I'll probably blog about some other pets of mine!

Pet Spotlight: Wintermelon the Pacman Frog

Pet Spotlight: Wintermelon the Pacman Frog

So slimy and wet

Green on scarlet, glistening

My Wintermelon.

~"The Frog" -- My first Haiku, 12/06/2014

Disclaimer: I'm no reptile/amphibian/pet expert and I will never claim to be one. All information I put on this blog are what I've read on the internet or in books and from personal experience. Please do thorough research before purchasing a pet and be a responsible pet owner!

I was going to spotlight a couple of my newest pets today, but I figured this one is probably more interesting and I'll go onto the newer ones at a later date. Considering this is The Frog Blog, it's only natural I blog about frogs at one point or another, so without further ado, let me introduce one of my frogs: Wintermelon.

Wintermelon is a female Pacman frog. These frogs are so-named because of their huge mouths, which resemble the game, Pacman. See the resemblance?

To be honest, they -- the frogs -- are really nothing more than stomachs with legs. They have no neck, no shoulders or hips (well, strictly speaking they do...) and look like a giant coin purse. They're one of the easiest pets to take care of, although at the same time they literally do nothing. They can sit in the same position all day, every day, except for when they need a soak and when they're being fed. Sometimes I wonder if they're asleep all along, when I look at them.

But the greatest part about them is how adorable they look. Look at them round eyes! And the round body! And the stumpy little legs!

It's one of my life's dreams to actually lick one. Unfortunately, because they're not exactly sterile (and neither is my tongue, from their point of view), that's not something I'll do in the near future. Seeing them swim is enough pleasure -- scroll down!.

Wintermelon is one of my greediest pets. She loves her food and eats with great gusto. One of the funniest thing about her is she thinks everything that moves equals food, so if I go too near her tank (even if I'm doing things that have nothing to do with her), it's a common phenomenon she'll turn on the spot and face me, expectantly. Place her next to a box of things that move during cleaning time, such as mealworms or a tank of fish, she may even headbutt her tank -- I try to avoid that as it can hurt her lips/face/head-body.

Not that she gets food unless it's her meal time...

 

Speaking of food, she eats more or less anything, everything. She eats the best out of all of my other frogs, who will be spotlighted later -- one in particular is very picky about her food. Fish, crickets, roaches, mealworms... Wintermelon'll eat it all. Just throw it in front of her and she'll (try her best to) chomp it. Occasionally she'll miss and end up catching her mouth on the sponge instead, but that just makes it funnier. But usually she's pretty spot-on with her aim (see video for example).

I also love how she sometimes sits like she doesn't have arms or legs. A bit like cat loaf. Frog loaf?

**ba-dum-ch**

Amongst many funny things I find about the frogs, one of them is their uncanny way to sit facing one single direction. This means if you turn the tank at a reasonably slow pace so she doesn't get disorientated, Wintermelon will turn on the spot so she remains facing wherever she was facing. Not infallible, but always worth a giggle.

Another funny thing to watch is her swimming. Wintermelon's is particularly adorable, because she has a very rotund body (especially after she's had a long soak!) and very long froggy back legs that are disproportionate to her girth.

You'll notice we use a bright green sponge for her to sit on (or under). Apparently the internet experts say it makes her green brighter -- and I have to say, she has lovely colouring, great for painting. I've also started an acrylic painting of her sitting in a most majestic pose. Maybe one day when it's finished, I'll blog about it.

 

A couple of things to note for people who are planning on owning froggies -- the list is incomplete. 

- They're easy to take care of: fed once a week, clean up their poop in that kind of frequency.

- Give them plenty of water in a tub so they can sit, soak, and swell up. 

- Don't overfeed them and don't put them in the same tank as any other living thing, or they'll eat it.

- Don't handle them too much. Human hands are too hot for them and our hands are often too dirty for them, too! Considering they absorb everything in contact with their skin, you wouldn't want them taking in the perfume or cream you'd just used, or the ink you'd stained your fingers with, would you?

That's about everything for today. My other pets will make an entrance in the upcoming weeks/months. What do you think of Wintermelon? Is she lovely, rotund, and adorable? She's not slimy in the slightest, just nice, soft, and cool. Not icky. Very serious about her food, and makes an awesome model.

She's so majestic!