Writing: Giving Feedback or "Critiques" (Part 1)

Writing: Giving Feedback or "Critiques" (Part 1)

We, as writers (whether amateur, "hobby", or professional), are forever seeking to better ourselves and to improve our craft. Often, we will seek feedback from others regarding our work, often in the form of critiques.

We may even give out critiques ourselves, to friends and to fellow writers. As with all skills, "critiquing" has a learning curve and today I would like to talk about what I've learned about being a "critic" or a giver of feedback in the past year or so: what I do, what I found I should not do, and what good techniques I've come across.

I've made my fair share of mistakes in the past and I'm sure I will make many more in the future, but I hope this will be an interesting read and may help others in bettering themselves, whether as a writer or a critic, or both. And I hope you won't make as many mistakes as I did!

What are my credentials?

On Wattpad, I am what they call a "critic", that is: I offer my thoughts and knowledge on writing to others who request my "service". Both as a writer and as a critic I have a long way to go, but I do try my best to help others improve and also offer my thoughts on their writings as a reader.

What are my qualifications? How many books have I published? What mind-blowing literature pieces have I created to take the world by storm?

None. Well, I got two A*s in English Language and English Literature at GCSE level (16 years old), but I never pursued the languages beyond that point, favouring the sciences and maths instead and am studying those at university level. However, I am a very, very avid reader. I've been devouring books since I was young and that hasn't changed as an adult, although a few research papers have been thrown into the mix, too. Although my sub-par school curriculum offered little to no grammar lessons, I learned a lot about writing through reading. In the past year on Wattpad, I've also learned from fellow critics about the art of writing as well as the art of critiquing and have "published" a few novels and short stories on that site.

Is this post the absolute law in how one conducts oneself as a critic and how prose must be written? Of course not! I'm just expressing my views based on my own personal experience -- and I have made numerous blunders in the process -- and how I feel one can be a thorough and, above all, helpful critic. My methods may not work for everyone and I still have lots to learn, but I hope it can help others give feedback when they critique or when they comment on a story.

What is feedback? (From Oxford Dictionaries online)

Critique: a detailed analysis and assessment of something, especially a literary, philosophical, or political theory. 

Feedback: Information about reactions to a product, a person’s performance of a task, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement.

Basically, we analyse and assess how good or bad something is -- with the aim to help them improve.

So the backbone of giving feedback is: do not aim to crush the soul of the recipient.

Of course, there are some who are sensitive and insecure about their writing skills. We've all been there. There are those who don't actually want the flaws in their work highlighted and don't actually want you hammering at them about ways they can improve their wares. There are those whose skills are actually much lower than yours -- think of a maths professor teaching at university level teaching their kid how to do addition (only in terms of the difference in skill, as I'm not claiming to be a professional in the slightest), he/she wouldn't be teaching them them mathematical modelling or all kinds of complicated algebra. So you've got to alter your expectations and advice according to the recipient...

...if they wanted a critique in the first place.

Back to the start of the past paragraph. Remember not everyone wants a critique. You may go in, full of good intentions and hoping to aid this young budding writer to become a fully-fledged writer, but they may be happy plodding along at their level. Then your (perhaps too) hardcore critique came along and made them upset about writing, instead of helped them improve. They didn't want their stories to be picked apart. They didn't ask for it. So don't, no matter how good your intentions are. If they wish for a critique, offer it or wait for them to ask. Feel free to give small prompts about improvement -- things like "I think XXX should probably talk about his past a bit more because it makes him seem more realistic" and "I think that last action scene went a bit too quickly. I think if it was paced a bit steadier I can really feel myself in that battle" is quick and helpful.

With the above in mind -- Help the recipient improve. Critique only if your service is required. -- let's talk about how feedback should (theoretically) be given and we can have a look in further detail about the above two points.

Ende's Principles of Giving Feedback

Years and years ago, in the long-gone days of 1983, a man named Ende published a scientific article on giving feedback [Ende J (1983) Feedback in clinical medical education. Journal of the American Medical Association 250:777-781].

Basically, it boils down to the following:

Feedback should be:
1) Well-timed and expected.
2) Teacher and trainee working as allies with common goals.
3) Based on first-hand data.
4) Regulated in quantity and limited to remediable behaviours.
5) Phrased in descriptive non-evaluative language.
6) About specific performances, not generalisations.
7) Clearly labelled 'subjective' as appropriate.
8) On decisions/actions versus assumed intentions/interpretations.

So what does this all mean?

1) Feedback should be well-timed and expected.

As mentioned earlier, critiques should be something the recipient is expecting, so either the recipient must have approached you asking for one or you offered one to them and they accepted. (Equally if they stated on their profile they love getting feedback, that can also be taken as consent.)

It should be well-timed. Although not much of a problem on Wattpad, because the book isn't going anywhere, the fresher the feedback relative to the time of performance (i.e. of writing the book), the more the recipient will understand your feedback compared to what they were thinking at the time of writing. Additionally, it's a matter of courtesy that you don't promise someone feedback soon and deliver it a few months later. At least drop them a PM either letting them know it'll take a while or apologising profusely for being late.

2) Feedback should be teacher and trainee working as allies with common goals.

Note that although the critic isn't a teacher, they are giving advice to the recipient, so this sentence can be adapted to our use. Also note the use of the word allies. The critic shouldn't be antagonising in any part of the critique. The critic is working with the recipient so that the recipient can improve their writing.

You may disagree with the writer and vice versa, but try to maintain a degree of professionalism even if you can't reach an agreement. Remember you're using your time to help another person improve their skills. Making them resentful or your enemy means they won't take any of your feedback on-board. Bruised egos and heated arguments aside, antagonism results in you wasting your time critiquing.

3) Feedback should be based on first-hand data.

This means literally what it says. You should feedback based on what you've read, rather than, for example, what other people have said in the comment section or mentioned in their reviews of that piece. You should gather your own data and make a judgement based on that.

Consider quoting the recipient so the feedback is more specific, for example:

"I noticed you're showing on top of telling on some occasions, and frankly I think you can easily just show and leave out the telling. One area where this is obvious is in paragraph 2, sentence 5, and another area is paragraph 6, sentence 1."

"Where your character said, 'quote quote quote' I feel you can better show her annoyance if you used this word instead of that. As it stands, I think it conveys more sadness than irritation."

4) Feedback should be regulated in quantity and limited to remediable behaviours.

Now the former is something I especially struggle with. Feedback shouldn't be overwhelming in numbers (of points) and should be restricted to things upon which the recipient can improve.

We all know nobody can change everything at once. As a critic, try and prioritise the points the recipient need to improve. What's more important, the fact that their tenses jump back and forth, or they don't know how to punctuate dialogue, or the fact that their main character is difficult to relate to because of personality issues? Or is the fact that the basics of the English language haven't been fully grasped yet the most important area to focus on -- because you, as the reader, is having great difficulty understanding what they're actually trying to convey?

Nobody likes having all of their bad points listed, so consider expanding on the biggest problems and either PM'ing them the smaller points or just having a sentence or two about the lesser areas, for example:

"Just a few minor errors regarding dialogue punctuation. Remember to end a spoken line with a comma if followed by a speaking verb; otherwise, you should end in a full-stop."

"I notice you're occasionally spelling the word 'weird' wrong. Remember the 'e' goes before the 'i', but that's a small issue."

In terms of remediable behaviours, this refers to raising points that the user can actively improve on. It isn't a major issue in writing, in my opinion, but consider when you're public-speaking, you're told your accent is too heavy to be understandable -- it's asking a bit too much if you request a change of accent, but maybe you can suggest they enunciate clearer and speak slower. 

Part 2 can be found here.

What do you think of Ende's principles so far? Do you implement any of those? Do you disagree with any of them?

Review: "Loving In Time" by A.E. Kirk

Review: "Loving In Time" by A.E. Kirk

As found on Goodreads. Book published by Wattpad author Abi Kirk/AE_KIrk.

Rating: 3* out of 5.

I received an e-copy in exchange for a review for this book.

“Loving In Time” is a loose re-telling of the story of Helen of Sparta in the modern world. A seemingly normal school girl gets visits from mysterious boys who seem to know more about her than they let on, and what unfolds is a story of self-discovery. This is a review after reading approximately a third of the book.

Helen is an entertaining main character whose thoughts are fairly typical for a young teen whose world is limited to normal social activities and school. Her relationship with her unpredictable, rambunctious best friend, Paris, is very sweet and relatable, as are the troubles and arguments that come along with being a teen. I feel the author has captured the essence of teenager-hood well with their hyperactive energetic personalities and liveliness.

The story flows well most of the time, although a bit slow for my taste and aside from the odd sticky sentences and over-telling of prose. There are no apparent information overload – a lot of backstory is given through dialogue between characters, which in my opinion is an excellent way to build the world for the reader – or noticeable inconsistencies aside from one so far. There was an incident where Helen walks out of her history class when wrongly reprimanded by the teacher. Since the beginning of the story, she has been shown as a timid girl – tries to be invisible, shy around others, unable to stand up to Paris, trembles during public speeches, mortified when put in the limelight – so I found it very strange she would have the courage to walk out of the class, particularly as there was no mention of her being angry at being wronged, only embarrassed, and no indication of any impulsivity in her personality. On top, I’m not actually quite sure Helen is ‘interesting’ enough of a main character, as she shows very little interest in the mysterious boys and their mysterious hints at what they know for about six to seven chapters. Her reaction seem to not deviate from a disinterested “Ah, well” despite all the oddities in the boys until the submarine library scene and a little later on when she was actually attacked in her own home. Additionally, as mentioned earlier, I feel the flow could be quicker, because despite being a third of the way through the book, I still haven’t come across the main conflict of the book or the price of her actions/failures and I haven’t really found myself sympathetic for Helen’s cause – whatever that may be.

I feel the writer has a talent for capturing emotions. From Paris’s “in your face” and carefree persona to when Helen regains her memories, the emotive side of the prose were quite realistic and intense. After Helen realises who she was, her thoughts and speech matured noticeably as she recalled her life from centuries ago: a sharp contrast to her childish voice from before. This subtle change leads me to believe she also regained the wisdom of her multiple lifetimes before the current one and I think it’s well-delivered.

Aside from lively Paris, however, I feel there is a certain individuality and significance that is lacking in most of the other supporting characters. Seven boys show up by the point I’m at in the book, and, to me, they have no differentiating features. Even when Marcus and Gus first show up, aside from being the “mysterious boys”, their manner of speech and personalities don’t set them apart from each other and their roles are still unclear. The latter is the same for Paris, whose role was hinted to be significant in the beginning in that Helen comments on how compatible and close they were, as well as the significance of their names, and yet after Paris disappears within two or three chapters, she has yet to reappear or even be mentioned. This seems to suggest the story isn’t quite starting at the inciting incident, when the conflict begins, as the story starts with the friendship of Paris and Helen on a typical school day, instead of when Marcus and Gus shows up and strange things begin to happen to Helen.

In terms of the actual language side of the writing, there are consistent dialogue and prose punctuation mistakes that run throughout the book and overuse of dialogue tags (particularly “mumbled” and “cringed” – the latter is not spoken verb) and adverbs, all of which I feel detracted from the professionalism of a published book and the latter contributes to the over-telling. The shouting scenes also overuse capital letters to the point where it makes difficult reading. For a lot of readers, I’m sure this aren’t big problems and Helen’s charming storytelling voice probably can compensate, but for me personally it jars the reading experience. And although perhaps a nit-picking point, I found it strange when Helen justifies her love of biology with liking how chemical reactions worked – I would have thought it would either be her loving biology because she liked seeing the anatomy of the boy’s injury and subsequent infection back in science class, or she loves chemistry because she likes seeing how the acid reacts to skin. Similarly, another strange situation was when she was thinking of what chemicals could induce such pain and arrived at the conclusion of PTSD, which is not a chemical but a medical condition, and nowadays more often not actually related to wars – although considering the intense pain she was in at that moment in time, it was even stranger she would have the mental capacity to even come up with these thoughts in the first place.

The story, told through first person, definitely has its charms and that is important to hook in readers. Having said that, the lack of significant events as far as a third of the way through the book and the consistent language errors that run through it – the latter of which shouldn’t be present in a published book – do detract from the enjoyment of the book for me. Certain characters, such as Helen and Paris, are interesting with their own charm (although Helen’s personality is a little inconsistent in my opinion) but in contrast the supporting characters are comparably superficial and lacking.

****

"Loving In Time" is on sale for 99p for all UK Kindle customers for one day only (13/7/2014) here.

Writing Process Blog Hop

Writing Process Blog Hop

I’ve been tagged by a good friend Jespah to participate in a Blog Hop. I shall answer some questions and then tag three fellow bloggers to continue the chain. I hereby nominate fellow Wattpadders and bloggers: Bruce Elgin, Tiara Harvey/Chemical_Insanity, and Jessica B Fry.

Check out all of my free stories on Wattpad:

1) What am I working on?

My current project is called “Rise of the Vengeful Dragon”(RotVD), an epic fantasy adventure (/histfic) about a young girl, Aerith, who has lost her only family at five years of age. In a world where dragons had been living peacefully with humans for millennia thanks to a magical treaty that tied the lives of dragons to human Draconian Families, a clash between two dragons resulted in destruction and one death. As she hid among the ruins of her town, Aerith watched her mother and her family’s dragon get killed, and swore revenge.

This project started as a combination of my desire to (finally) write a dragon story and as a prompt for a user competition I saw on Wattpad back in January 2014 called “Essence of Gisella”, which is to write a story based on a cover made by the competition host.

I actually won that competition and got some pretty banners and covers, reviews, and comments as prize. Since then, RotVD has been entered into The Write Awards, another Wattpad competition, and gave me many sleepless nights because I made the poor choice of regularly posting a story on Wattpad without fully plotting it out. Most of the kinks are sorted now, and the near is in sight. However, because the first third of the story was pretty shrouded in terms of world mechanics, I’m itching to rewrite it!

2) How is my work different from others of its genre?

RotVD utilises an unreliable narrator first and foremost. I focused a lot on what Aerith sees and how she sees things. As a bitter and ruthless girl who grew up in harsh circumstances, there are people whose names she wouldn’t bother learning and important aspects of life (such as camaraderie and trust) she would cast aside and focus entirely on her goal of revenge.

Many dragon stories tend to have dragons who serve humans or can be controlled or bargained with, somehow. In my view and the RotVD world, dragons are majestic, extremely powerful, and very old. So old that puny humans’ existences wouldn’t even cross their minds, let alone obeying them. I try to go back to traditional views of dragons: huge powerhouses who can literally flatten mountains.

3) Why do I write what I do?

I write because I love creating: sketching, painting, crafting. When I read or watch films/anime, I see snippets of storylines unfolding in front of me and characters whose stories I would love to tell. And when I write, I live through my characters. When they cast magic, I feel the power coursing through my veins. When they cry, I feel my eyes prickling. When they fight for their lives, I feel their adrenaline. I love living through the fantasy magic and mystical creatures in my characters’ world. It’s a lovely escape and, as I am a visual writer (meaning I see more or less everything I write about), it’s my dream to share those visions with my readers.

On my "off-fantasy-duty" days, I do write more down-to-earth stuff. I have two short story collections on Wattpad. One is horror, called "My Nightmares", which are gruesome, gory, freaky stories that I dug out from the deep crevices of my twisted mind. The other is a more serious general fiction, called "Tear Drops and Ink", which requires me to put on my mature hat and talk about difficult topics; so far, I've written two shorts, one about the importance of a bone marrow donor for a little girl with childhood leukaemia, and another about the devastation of bullying and the "Not in my backyard" attitude of bystanders.

4) How does my writing process work?

I can’t say I have many stories under my belt, and some of my earlier stories I don’t consider as part of my collection, simply because they are too rough and terrible. For my existing books, because I get inspiration from many places as previously mentioned, they mostly come from the stuff I watch and from dreams – I’m a very vivid dreamer. “Seeker”, what I consider my first completed novel, was inspired by a dream where I was part of a superpower team à la “Power Rangers”. I had telekinesis and was levitating this huge rock over to my enemies, and so, Tora, the hot-tempered telekinetic, was born. “The Windcaster” was inspired by Studio Ghibli’s animation of “Tales of Earthsea”, as mentioned in a previous blog post. “Rise of the Vengeful Dragon” wasn't inspired by anything in particularly. Perhaps that’s why it is so difficult to write.

Once I get the basis of the story (e.g. “telekinetic girl fights demons and saves human lives”) I then work on a conflict (e.g. “telekinetic girl gets mysterious visits from boy alongside increasing demon attacks”). Working towards several climaxes, I then pave from climax to climax, adding mini-climaxes in-between, until the Big Battle with the Big Bad is in sight.

Like my puppy friend who tagged me, I also have an idea bank, called “Initial Ideas”. This is a folder full of all the snippets of storylines and a few bones of a story skeleton. More often than not, an idea gets filed away there forever and never sees the light of day. On the odd occasion, a few ideas get merged into my current book or merge together to form a future book. One current brewing idea is a combination of three ideas plus the X-men films.

I always plan my stories out ever since my first, and last, unplotted story went on for ever and ever. 800k words later, there was no end in sight. In retrospect, it was like a serialised piece of work, like an anime or TV series, so it’s actually OK it will never end. Nevertheless, the idea scared me so I filed it away and always meticulously plot from now on. “Seeker” went according to plan. “The Windcaster” did not. In fact, it went so far off the plotline that characters who were supposed to die did not, and vice versa, and Tia, the MC, ended up in a very different place towards the latter half of the book. But having a plan organised my brain, set me in gear, and motivated me whenever I hit writer’s block.

Passing the Baton

And here, I pass the blogging baton onto:

Author of free mystery paranormal Wattpad book "Schism" and fellow blogger : Bruce Elgin

Author of free epic fantasy adventure Wattpad book "The Last Nephilim" and fellow blogger: Tiara Harvey/Chemical_Insanity

Author of free epic fantasy adventure Wattpad book "Tue-Rah: Identity Revealed" and fellow blogger: Jessica B Fry.

Go and check out their blogs and work. They come recommended! And thank you for reading.